TV Chefs of Old SY (Part 1 of Some)

The sad passing recently of thon cove from the Hairy Bikers has set many old SYs to reminiscing about popular chefs who have graced the Outer Hebrides’ TV screens over the years.

Given the stellar international success of The Kitchen Coves, and the internet phenonono.. phemonoym..sensation that is Coinneach the Hebridean Baker, it’s perhaps not surprising that some of the islands’ other culinary superstars aren’t as talked about as they once were. 

But it only takes a glance through the BBC Alba and Grampian schedules of yore to see that – since the very day the islands’ first TV flickered into life in Maciver and Dart’s window (propaply) – there’s been a wealth of top class local chefs on the box, opening our minds to all sorts of exotic recipes, from sgadan ‘s buntàta to buntàta ‘s sgadan.

Not only that, but a surprising number of Hebridean TV cooking stars had similar-but-differently-named cousins on the mainland who came home on holiday, nicked their ideas, fleeked back off across the Minch and became slightly more successful at a national level.

Co dhiù, let’s remind ourselves of some of the great names in Outer Hebridean TV cheffery (who aren’t Coinneach or Na Seòid)…

Probably the first person to have a regular cookery show on BBC Alba was the inimitable Fanky Cradock, who first introduced the island populace to the joys of haute cuisine in 1955.

Wearing a chiffon couture ballgown from Nazir’s, thick make-up and high-heeled wellies, and abetted by her dim-witted husband Shonnie, Cradock would whip up exotic French-influenced dishes like “Prawn Cac-tail”, “Reef Wellington” (an old boot found on the beach in Uig, boiled for 12 hours) and her signature fish dish “Sole Manure” (you don’t want to know). Good luck if you ever try her donut recipe.

Another popular female TV chef was Delia Smithavenue, who started out as a cookery writer in the Gazette before being approached to host a BBC Alba show in the early 1970s. This show was called ‘Family Faire’ and introduced island viewers to exotic cuisine such as Vesta curries and Arctic Roll.

Delia became a regular on the telly throughout the 70s and 80s, including well remembered cooking slots for kids on Noel E*die’s ‘Multi Cailleach Thrift Shop’.  Her books sold in their tens, including ‘How To Greet at Cooking’, ‘County (Public) Recipes (a pie and a pint)’ and ‘Cakes, Bakes and Fleeksakes’. A keen football fan, Delia also famously bought the 2nd Stornoway Scouts Five a Side team.

As well as individual chefs’ shows, competitive cookery has always been popular on our local screens. A fine example of this was “Ministerchef” (originally hosted by Rev Lloyd Grosebay, then by Rev Garryvard Rhodels).

“Ministerchef” contestants had to prepare both an òrduighean Sunday sermon and a post-communion dinner at the manse for a panel of cailleachs who had travelled from all parts of the island looking for religious inspiration and free scoff. 

A big part of the show’s appeal was the stinging criticism from the cailleachs, who liked nothing better than complaining about the lack of fire in the preaching (“Cha robh piobar gu leòr ann”) or the insufficiency of salt in the soup (“A’ ghiiiaaadh mhór! ‘S truagh nach robh bean Lot aig a’ bhòrd comhla rinn an diugh”). 

Co dhiù, here are some of the other legendary TV chefs and cookery shows  from Stornoway and the islands that we might be revisiting in more depth later if we can be bothered: 

The Galloping Cuireamach (Graham Kershader) – remember him? (*)

Robert Carishader – popularised Uigeach cuisine in the 70s. His obituary in the Gazette in 2006 reported that: “With a highly theatrical style that was as camp as RAF Aird Uig, and a penchant for superlatives (“Gooorgeous… Adooorable… Faaabulous…. Dìììreach Àààluinn”), he attracted viewers as much for his drawling Ungashader vowels and shameless self-promotion as for his recipes… which were fleekeen ruppish”.

Keithstreet Floyd – flamboyant and bibulous bon viveur whose recipes always involved a bottle of 4 Crown that never made it into the food.

Nigella Lawdsdayobservancesociety – famous for her sumptuous and seductive Sunday lunch recipes – that all have to be cooked the night before.

Gordon Ramsales – Better known for being a sweary, grumpy shouty bleigeard than for his cooking. Claims to be a Maw even although he’s a Townie, and is always going on about how he was nearly signed up by Carloway FC (he wasn’t). Best known for ‘Gordon’s Kirivick Nightmares’

Rick Steinish- all his dishes featured salmon poached from the Tong Pool.

Michel Rouxbhach – famous for bringing the best of Point cooking to Stornoway, and for opening Le Gavrabost, the first restaurant West of the Braighe to attain 3 Marybank Garage stars.

Ready Steady Gug(a)- a long running show about the many different ways to cook guga (it turns out there’s only one and it involves a gallon of diesel and a tub of Swarfega)

The Hearach Bikers- a long running show about two beardy coves from Tarbert on Raleigh Wayfarers cycling round Stornoway’s chip shops on a Friday night trying to get the ‘leftovers’ from the fryers.

Time and space limits detailed information on the other well know TV Chefs, but maybe we’ll revisit the following folk on another day?

Brù Leith

Jamie Oliversbrae

Gino D’Acampbellsfillingstation

Manure Jaffrey

Ainsley Herringuts

Hugh Finsbay-Whitingsettler

James Martinsmemorial

Nadia Husswainabost

Heston Blumendalbeg

Maw-sterchef

The Great British Fleek-off

The Great Breanish Hake Off

*Special thanks to Kiwi for his distinguished academic contribution on this topic.