Tina Turrrnnag RIP

The world of popular music is in mourning for the late great Tina Turner, the legend behind hits from  “River Deep Mountain High” to “Simply The Best”. 

Born Annie Mae Bullock in Brownsville, Tennessee, Turner’s career ran from the late 50s to the present day, and went from great success with evil husband Ike Turner’s Soul Revue, to temporary obscurity after their split in 1976, to a massive resurgence in the 80s with the “Private Dancer” album and a show-stealing appearance in the “Mad Max” movie franchise. Turner’s story inspired the biopic “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” and the stage musical “Tina”. 

Sadly, amidst the rush of obituaries and tributes to commemorate Turner’s passing, little has been heard about the demise the same day of her second cousin from Point, an almost equally successful artiste in her own right.

Although Turner’s Rubhach cousin was known to her countless fans (3 blones from Sheshader and a couple from over the border in Branahuie) as “Tina Turrrnnag”, the singer was originally christened Anna-Màiri BullKnock when she was born in the deep South (Swordale) in 1939. 

Anna-Màiri sang from an early age, prompting her parents to move to nearby Knocksville “for work reasons” and leave  her in the care of her strict religious grandparents Alex Dan and Rubhachs-anne, who were Deacon and Cailleach an Deacon (respectively, or maybe it was the other way round) at the Swordale Reformed Continuing Presbyterian Free Associated (Continuing Again) Church.

As a frequent singer in her grandparents’ church, Anna-Màiri’s voice turned out to be very suited to the Gaelic psalms, and she was soon in demand for prayer meetings, wakes and òrduighean from Aignish all the way to Tiumpan. 

But the world of secular music beckoned. BullKnock always knew she wanted a career on the stage (or as a conductress on the Point bus). Keen to get a foot in the door of worldly stardom, young Anna-Màiri was determined to join Point’s premiere touring band of the day. Which leads us to the bleigeard who was to cast a baleful shadow over the early years of her career…

In the late 50s, Aiginish man Ui Turrrnnag was a clerk of works with the Board of Agriculture, and toured the Point district inspecting new barns to make sure they were up to scratch for the croft improvement grant. 

Across the Peninsula, crofters desperate to collect their grant money would be on tenterhooks awaiting the arrival of “Ui Turrrnnag’s Sabhal Review”

Since the Board were already paying his travelling expenses, Turrrrnag decided to supplement his wages (and all his  back-handers for approving substandard agricultural buildings) by staging an evening ceilidh in each village he visited and charging people to get in. Soon he had assembled a c(r)ack group of talented singers and musicians who he kept in the back of his Board van and only let out for rehearsals and shows. Turrrnnag’s harsh regime and relentless drilling soon earned “Ui Turrrnnag’s Sabhal Review” a legendary reputation as the tightest, most dynamic live show you could see anywhere East of Parkend (and West of Shulishader).

Turrrnnag saw BullKnock singing at the Garrabost Communions and was impressed with the way she drowned out the Precentor. BullKnock herself was in awe of the flashy Turrnnag and his seemingly exciting and wealthy lifestyle (for a start he wore Murdo Maclean shirts instead of ones from JD Williams catalogue). 

Soon she had joined the Review and toured round all of Point. She started recording songs with Ui and they came up with the stage name “Tina Turrrnnag” for her. 

Mainstream success came in 1966 when record producer Phil Spàg-todhar signed Ui and Tina to his record label and they released ‘River Creed-Fountain Dry’, a moving tribute to the plight of poachers following a very dry summer. 

The song was a huge hit (4 copies sold in DD Morrisons) and opened up a whole range of opportunities including touring as the opening act for the Rolling Ollacs, then the biggest rock band in Point.  

Tina and Ui are probably best known for ‘Butt Ness City Limits’ which is still regarded as a classic tune even to this day.  

However, Ui was a bad bleigard to Tina as he always kept the Family Allowance, and so she filed for divorce and left the band. 

Her early solo years were not very commercially successful, but she was still regarded as one of the greatest singers in Point. In 1975 she was asked to play the Acair Queen in the movie version of Flesherin mòd group The Cò’s rock opera “Tommy (D*rkie)”.

But as the 1980s started, her career received a kick start when trendy young synthpop pioneers BEF (Bayble Electric Foundation) produced her version of “Bale of Confusion” (about a batch of wool bales getting mixed up on Number One pier and ending up going to the wrong mills).  

And after the surprise hit ‘Let’s Pray Together’ ( a cover version of the Al Grianandaycarecentre song), Tina’s record label gave her the green light to record what would become one of the biggest albums of the 1980s and propel her into superstardom. This album was of course  ‘Private Dannsa Rathaid’ and hit the charts all over bits of Lewis. 

The album was full of hits including ‘What’s Leodhas Got To Do With It?’ , ‘Better Be Good-living To Me’ and the title song itself (written by Turrrnnag’s fellow Rubhach Mark Knockfler).

In the mid 80s Tina starred with Mel Gibsonhostel in a post-apocalyptic film set in a dystopian North Beach public house –  ‘Mad Macs : Beyond the Thunder Blone”.  Tina also sang the film’s signature song  “We don’t need another HeeHoro”

In the 90s she maintained her connection with the film world by singing the theme song to the latest Seamus Bond film ‘Golden Aoidh’  written by Bon-obh and The Hedge from Ewe2.

Also in the 90s she continued her success with her ‘Foreign Aff-Aird’  album which featured possibly her most well known song  ‘Simply Pre Dest(ination)’.

In later years BBC Alba released “What’s Lochs Got To Do With It?” a biopic of Tina’s life starring Angusina Baaah-sset, and the Point Players produced a massively successful stage musical featuring all her big hits, which ran for nearly 2 nights at Ionad Stoodie. 

News of Tina’s demise prompted a flood of tributes from fellow pop legends such as Sir Eltong John, Diana Rossandcromartycountycouncil, Gloria Gaydonhangar and Mick Bragar. And, of course from Creedmouth Peatwater Revival’s John Flodabay, who had time to talk to us at length yesterday because he was hanging about the town with fleek all else to do except try and spot B*bby G*ll*spie in the Fishermen’s Co-op.

Tina will be sadly missed, in bits of Point at least – and at the Rangers Club.

We leave you with the words to one of her best loved songs. All together now…..

River Creed Fountain Dry 

“When I was a little blone, I had a Woolies rod

It was the only rod that I’ve ever owned

Now there’s been a drought all summer 

And now the water level hasn’t grown

And it gets shallower in every way

And it doesn’t get deeper, deeper, deeper, let me say

Then it gets drier, day by day

And how do I poach you, with a fly?

River Creed, even the iron fountain’s dry! 

Oh no, no, if I ever, ever lost a fish would I cry

Now, how do I poach you baby (baby, baby, baby)”